Living the High Life
by Just a Tad Unhinged
Summary: A little AU glimpse of Riddick and Shay's life on Lupus 4 postPB but disregards CoR just 'cuz. OneShot ShayxRiddick just for fun.


**_This is my sincere apology for being a schmuck and making you guys wait so damn long… and also my desperate attempt at getting my muse back… because I think I misplaced him… or perhaps that's him in the corner reading Harry Potter books… instead of watching Pitch Black likes he's supposed to… Because to be truthful with you guys… lately I've been feeling a little lazy…. But I haven't lost my creativity; quite the opposite actually… I've been bitten by so many rabid Harry Potter plot bunnies that I can populate my own Harry Potter/Death Eater/Severus Snape petting zoo… so yeah… I'm sooo sorry I haven't been responsible… sniffle_**

**Living theHigh Life**

**Riddick's POV**

She grinned at me as I pulled the little black sports car in to the parking space. I turned off the car and got out, wrapping an arm around Shay as she caught up to me on our way into Strobe, Lupus 4's hottest dance club… Yeah I know I hate dancing and being around this many people still makes me nervous… but I can't say no to her; the little wench knows just what buttons to push to get her way and if I were at all honest with my self I would realize that that makes me even more nervous that the crowds of people in that club; but then again I've never really been accused of being honest.

We approached the bouncer at the front door but when he asked for IDs, Shay rolled her eyes and said"Really now… do we **look** younger than 21 to you."

The bouncer shrugged and demanded for them again and I pulled our fake IDs out of the pocket of my leather jacket… By the way… my name's not Riddick today; it's Jonathan Ferris and this is my lovely wife Yvonne… just a precautionary measure… even though truthfully we've seen neither hide nor hair of a merc for 3 or 4 years.

We made it into the club and I adjusted the dark sunglasses over my eyes before shrugging out of my jacket then handing both my jacket and Shay's black velvet blazer over to the bartender.

What can I say; we've been living thehigh life… We got a little three bedroom condo on the upper eastside of the business district of New Manhattan; pretty much the ONLY major city on this pit stop of a planet but hey, it Shay's hometown and since Furyia is long gone there's no where else to go and as far as I see it no harm staying where the mercs dare not go.

I make a killing as a dock manager for the uppity-ups (who are more worried about their illegal shipments falling into the wrong hands to worry over who they're employing) and Shay owns a fairly well-known tattoo parlor in the fashion district with tattoo artists that I can trust to keep her safe. Our two kids, Ryan and Sid, are at home right now probably driving the babysitter insane (who'd probably have a heart attack if she knew that the little monsters she's trying to get into bed belong to the legendary Richard B. Riddick and his equally legendary wife Shay-Lyn Riddick.) But that, my friends, is completely beside the point. The thought of the mousy little babysitter running through the condo after my kids brought a smile to my face as I turn to my wife.

"What's got you so happy?"

"Thinking about how I plan to ravish you when we get home seeing as by that time," I spare a glance at my Rolex and pull her against me, "the kids should be sound asleep."

"What makes you so sure? After all you did give them a bar of chocolate each…" She smirked triumphantly.

"But they are your children and have inherited your mischievous nature."

She quirked an eyebrow at me, "Oh really? This is funny coming from the man who taught his oldest son how to sharpen a shiv while his wife was away. I swear Ryan grows more and more like you everyday and Sid just does whatever his older brother does." She kissed me.

"Yes but like their mother, neither child can sit still for more than twenty seconds at a time. And besides I'm willing to bet anything that those two have the babysitter, what was her name? Mandy? Anyways I'm willing to bet that they've got her running circles around the condo trying to keep them from breaking things."

"Her name is Meryl and I doubt it, because I laid a very sincere threat on the table before we left."

"Meryl? What a terrible name. And what threat? I didn't hear of any threat."

"That's because I told them not to tell you." She stuck her tongue out at me, "I told them that if they were good and in bed by 8 like they're supposed to, we'd take them to the zoo tomorrow. So if I know my babies like I know I do, they're probably under they're action hero comforters dreaming of all the different kinds of animals at the zoo."

I chuckled and kissed her again, "That, wife, is a bribe not a threat and I bet you anything that when we get home we'll find them asleep on the couch or maybe in our bed. Heck they might not even be asleep."

"Okay… loser has to sleep on the couch for a week."

"Naw… if you lose you have to model that lingerie I bought you for your birthday."

"And what happens if you lose?"

I smiled cockily down at her, "I won't… but if I do… I'll sleep on the couch for a week."

"Okay, then, deal." She leaned back a little and stuck her hand out for me to shake. I grabbed it and used it to haul her back up to my lips.

"Aren't you two a little old to still be making out like teens?"

I dragged myself away from my wife's lips with a groan and glared at the kid who had interrupted us, Kyle, my wife's latest apprentice orperhaps charity case was a better term.

"You're only as old as you feel, Kyle." Shay said coyly, sticking her tongue out at the kid.

"So that puts you where, Shay? Two?" Shay huffed at directed her attention at the bartender ordering two Vespa fire whiskeys.

"It's Yvonne!"

"Oh forgive I forgot, that you change your name more than your underwear."

I chuckled, downed my whiskey then my wife's whiskey and pulled her toward the dance floor… I'll show him old.

_**Back at the Condo **_

**Ryan's POV**

"Ry-Ry?"

"Yeah Sid?" I whispered back to my baby brother. He was sitting to the side of me with his thumb in his mouth and the other hand wrapped up in the black Harley blanket Uncle Rico gave him for Christmas. I got a better present; a leather jacket just like Daddy's.

"Momma said we were supposed to be nice to Ms. Meryl and do what she says…"

"Yeah… so?"

"So, why are we hiding from her?"

I rolled my eyes at him and turned to him fully, "'Cuz it's fun…"

"But if we don't do what Momma says then, we won't get to go to the zoo…"

"I'm sure we'll still get to go… what do you want to see at the zoo so badly anyway? They're just a bunch stinky animals…"

"I wanna pet the rabbits and Momma said there might even be a billy goat to play with… like the one in the story!"

I rolled my eyes again, 'cuz little kids are so stupid, "Geez… you wanna drag us out to the zoo just so you can see a stupid billy goat? Why not a lion or a tiger, at least?"

"'Cuz Momma said that lions are mean and scary and that's why we can't touch 'em."

"And Momma knows everything?"

He nodded, "Daddy said she does…"

I was about to call him stupid but then I realized that I couldn't argue with him there, 'cuz Daddy knew everything. So if Daddy said Momma knew everything then she really MUST know everything.

That thought scared me 'cuz if she knew everything then she must know where I hide the candy Daddy gives us after my stomach starts to hurt from eating to much but before I could say anything Spike, our new puppy, started to bark and Ms. Meryl said a bad wordand opennedthe front door. I almost came out from underneath the coffee table where we were hiding to tell her so but then I heard my Momma's voice followed by my Daddy's big, deep voice in the hallway.

I looked over at Sid 'cuz I knew he was going to run to Momma like he always does but he was already gone.

"Momma!" I heard him yell as my Momma picked him up.

"Now, Pumpkin, didn't I tell you to be in bed by 8? And I thought you were supposed to be nice to Ms. Meryl?"

"I was going to but Ry-Ry said it would be fun to hide from her." He stared up at Momma as I crawled out from under the coffee table and walked over to where Daddy was standing, "Are we still going to the zoo?"

"We'll see, but first you have to apologize to Ms. Meryl and then go get your jammies on."

"Okay!" Sid started squirming so Momma put him down. Then he ran over to Ms. Meryl apologized and hugged her leg before running back to our room to change.

"Ryan Ferris. You come here right now young man."

I really wanted to run away but I figured that would only make things worse so I walked to her, "Yes ma'am?"

"You go say sorry to Ms. Meryl then you need to get your jammies on too."

"I'm sorry Ms. Meryl," I turned to Ms. Meryl.

"It's okay Ryan." I gave her a hug then walked to our room to be my super-cool motorcycle jammies on. When I got the Sid had his frog jammies on as best as he could get them and was already in bed.

"Traitor." I growled at him like Daddy does when he's 'specially mad; he just stuck his tongue out at me like the baby he was. I can dress myself, 'cuz I'm a big boy, so I did then I climbed up the ladder to my bunk, but half way up I felt my Daddy's hands pick me up and put me in my bed.

"Okay you two, Your Daddy and I have decided that we can still go to the zoo tomorrow, but you gotta be on your extra good behavior and go to sleep right now."

Then Momma stood up and kissed me goodnight and then Daddy kissed me but his mouth was all prickly from his beard so it felt kinda weird. Then they left and shut the door so only a little bit of light showed.

**Normal POV**

"How 'bout that lingerie?"

"But I'm so tired and my muscles hurt." Shay glared at her husband half-heartedly.

Riddick pulled his wife against him and kissed her, "Stop whining and take your punishment like a woman." He let go of her and pushed her lightly toward her dresser with a grin.

"Okay if you think you can take it…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She just giggled.

_**There ya go… I just wanted to write out a story in which Shay and Riddick, kinda get to live in peace after everything that happened to them. I know it's highly unlikely, but it's a fun concept!**_


End file.
